My Motivational Honeymoon

Have you ever felt so motivated that you could take on a giant? When it feels as though nothing can bring you down from cloud nine and you are essentially unstoppable? Your world is limitless! Your goals are going to be crushed! You will increase your income, followers and likes by 200% in the next quarter!  Your motivation has no limits.  

Too many times I have been here.

 I remember the feeling of being a newlywed.   As a young 20 year old, with a quiver in my lip and an absolute assurance in my heart, I said “I do”. My beautiful fiancé did too and a new life began as husband and wife.  Together we were unstoppable and ready to run the race of a lifetime.

until death do us part.  

Time has a way of stealing the momentum and the joy of running the race together.  

I think there comes a time in every relationship when you begin to lose the ‘spark’ and the motivational drive begins to fade into the background. Kids show up, money is tight and the mortgage needs to be paid, with stresses and changes, choices and challenges, fears and failures… the honeymoon fades into a distant memory and you are left feeling tired and empty.  It becomes almost sickening to see other couples hanging off each other, enamoured by one another, as you clean the baby spit-up from your shirt while another child won’t stop screaming because someone took their stuffy, someone thought a sharpie was good for wall art and you can’t remember if you actually put deodorant on this morning? 

I’m not saying that the love you have for one another is gone, by no means will I equate the two.   The love you have for each other is what keeps the bridge from collapsing under the weight of life. It gets hard. Life changes. We adapt. We cope… However, the weight takes its toll and we become lost and discouraged not having been this way before.

Once lost, we long once again for that spark.  Our brains are chemically designed to respond to motivational stimuli releasing the quartet of happiness, dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin and endorphins.   We crave it and if we are not careful we will look to be stimulated by those things we think will provide those feelings of happiness and joy we once knew only to discover they are leading us to a precipice.

Does it mean it is lost forever?  

No

It takes work, a lot of hard work, but to be able to look into the eyes of the one you committed your life to, see and feel the emotions you felt on the day you said “I do” brings a new passion and fire to the relationship. 

Love is work. 

It takes consistent, effort to show love and to do the things to show the love.  It is a verb, to quote the illustrious 90’s CCM trio DC Talk.

There is a strong parallel we can draw between relationship and business entrepreneurship.  After we go to the seminar, watch the webinar, take the course, speak to mentors and colleagues we are absolutely fired up.  We can complete the next project with the force of a thousand buffalos on stampede. Its a great feeling, like nothing can stop me.  But much like the Buffalo Jumps of North America at the foothills of the Rocky’s, where massive herds were once guided to the edge and forced to stampede over the cliff, our once incredible, fired up motivation will spill over the precipice and die. The love we have for our work is still there, we were made for this, but the daily grind takes its toll and the spark eventually fades.   

We can allow that lack of desire for our business to overshadow and consume our thoughts which will eventually cause our bridge to collapse, or we can begin to focus on the small details of every day that can begin to bring the spark back. We need to be able to see those small daily changes by adjusting our perspective, and asking What is Next? This can begin to shift the desire to fulfill our goals personally and in business. It can be as simple as setting aside a few minutes to journal your thoughts and goals for the day.  Make the time to engage your mentors, colleagues and counsellors for advice and guidance.   

I truly believe this is  one of the reasons Millennials are called the “job-hopper generation”.  By the age of thirty-five, twenty-five percent of workers have held five jobs or more.  The spark dies and instead of finding ways of reigniting the emotions that originally brought them to the job, they move to another, until the motivation fails again.  

It takes work to keep motivated, it takes a focused effort and a change in perspective.  Start small, focusing on where you began to loose your motivation. Make changes that will redirect and reignite your passion.

Persistence in the face of obstacles always builds resilience and enables growth.

The joy, the spark and the determination will slowly come back and the emotions and motivation will be as vibrant as the day you said “I do”.  

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