Think Inside the Box

I used to have this theory that the more credentials I have, the more letters behind my name or the more expansive my diversification of skills became, the better and more successful I would be as a business owner.    However, in recent years, as my skills have evolved over fourteen years as a Massage Therapist, with plenty of experiences gained, I have come to learn that sometimes ‘Simple’ is the best approach.  I am certainly not saying that knowledge and continuing education is a bad thing…It is actually a good thing; a very good thing, but for clients, my vast knowledge of my industry is simply overwhelming and can be intimidating and frightening!  We are experts, with 10/10 knowledge while our clients are maybe at a 2.  Yet on the outside, my cardboard shell is the same as someone else’s.  Making yourself relateable and personable is much more appealing.

I was listening to the StoryBrand Podcast with Don Miller (one of my favorite authors) interviewing Lee Lefever (killer name!).  He was discussing this very thought I had about overwhelming clients  with knowledge, terms, and impressive lingo that will make them tune out pretty quick and venture into a boredom that rivals sitting through Seven Years in Tibet (Brad Pitt movie circa 1997…more like Seven Years in the Theater).  He termed this “the Curse of Knowledge”…  this was my confirmation that maybe I should stop putting off writing this post and just get to it!

Here is my take

As I watched my kids when they were younger demolish birthday gifts, like ravenous hyenas chasing a wounded gazelle, I couldn’t help but be drawn to their fascination and full attention to the box the gifts came in!  This packaging, it’s sole purpose to contain within its cardboard walls, some new, bright, loud, or most fashionable toys, clothing or entertainment, was absolutely captivating.

We need to be the Box – plain and simple, yet with contents that can be life changing.

What do I mean by this…

We can look at this in a business context of becoming overwhelming to clients when we don’t allow the attractiveness of our simple language, explanations, and conversations to further the trust our clients have allowed.  Once the relationship is established, then our “box” can be opened and the contents can begin to be shared.  Our knowledge at that point, is extremely valuable as our clients have and will trust and continue to seek our services.  We can also discuss how our verbiage plays a role in this trust and understanding, but I think that deserves its own business blog…

How can we use this in our personal approach??

Within my recent experiences and struggles I have been both the giver and receiver of someone trying to push the contents of their box, and although they (I) may have had good intentions in sharing or trying to help in various situations, the approach was overwhelming, hurtful, and relationships became strained and in disrepair.  Sometimes what we need from others or what others need from us is…

simple

Nothing complicated, no big extravagant expressions of overwhelming knowledge and overbearing depth.  Someone to be real and genuine, even though there is a deep knowledge or experience behind the walls of their packaging.  When that trust is there, when the understanding deepens, then healing and progress can begin to take place.

Some of the most meaningful conversations I’ve had over the last couple of years have come from incredibly knowledgeable individuals who have the experience dealing with situations like mine… however, they have also sat, listened, and asked what I wanted or needed.  If I’m honest, some of the most frustrating discussions and conversations have come from incredibly knowledgeable individuals who have the experience dealing with situations like mine.  The difference? They wanted to tell me how I needed to react, feel, experience and deal with my situation because their knowledge was extensive, and although that trust was there, it was unfortunately used to exert superiority and authority which became intimidating for me and left me feeling more anxious and depressed then before.  Or simply put, they talk instead of hearing, they interject without completely listening.  Listening to respond, not to understand…

The understanding that we are all dealing with something, and sometimes the best approach is simple, uncomplicated, genuine and authentic.  Don’t allow the curse of knowledge to influence the potential you have of being able to help.  Sometimes the simple six sides of a box are more appealing then the complexity of its contents.




 

I have many things to learn, and this is one that I am trying… through this blog, I am attempting to be that simple ear for those that need someone to understand.  I don’t have all the answers and may not be able to completely understand, but an empathetic, listening and hearing ear I can offer.  Text 7058682616

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Coffee and Conversations

It comes as no surprise that I like my coffee.  If you’ve followed any of my social media accounts – @joshmartinrmt on Instagram – you will see that I post a picture from my seat at Starbucks every time I sit to write…It’s pretty much my second office and luckily for me, it’s literally a stone’s throw from my clinic (strategic? maybe).

I’ve always wanted to write some sort of coffee related metaphor that would make the average person see life on a whole new level and could transform even the most anti-caffeine, coffee is the devil individual into a full blown addict…but this probably isn’t it…I think it’s a good one, but I’m sure there is something better tucked in the seemingly desolate and barren wasteland that is my cerebral cortex.  There is a book in there somewhere!

For me, the ultimate preparation for that perfect cup of hot black bean water would be the French Press.  It is somewhat of a delicate and detailed process to get the perfect cup of coffee from a press (don’t get me started on the new Clover Press at Starbucks!!).  The grind has to be course enough to not allow grinds to seep through the filter mesh causing the last few sips to be wasted as it becomes a chewy bolus of unforgiving, dense residue.  Yet the grind also has to be fine enough to allow enough water through to not create so much pressure that the sweet nectar of the gods will erupt from the plunger when you begin the press process, thereby scalding the fragile epidermis of your trembling, anxious, anticipating hands. Let’s not forget about the water temperature.  The water must not be boiling, so either it is brought to a boil and allowed to sit before it is poured over the grind that you have now perfected, or you must stop the heating process moments before a boil takes place (about 205°).  There are many analogies I can draw simply from the preparation of the coffee, but that might wait for another day.  For now the focus is on the water and the filtration process.

If you will indulge my words, while you indulge on a beautifully crafted cup of coffee (or tea if that’s your thing), then hopefully this will make some sense to you.

Our words are like water, they flow through our minds and are delivered to someone’s ear with intent, meaning and motive.  Words can be meant to heal, to love or are said with anger to hurt and criticize.   There is a time for anger, for criticism, for love and for healing, however, when our words leave our lips, they are now out of our control.  This is the part of the story that I want to emphasize.  As our words, whether intended for good or bad, are interpreted by those we speak to, their meaning can be altered, twisted, convoluted and the original intent or motive can be lost or misinterpreted.

I will be honest, I have not always been the most honest and truthful with my words, and this has caused some difficulty in my life’s journey, and I have also been the one who has misinterpreted and misunderstood.  I believe that truth is of utmost importance and our words need to convey this, but I also truly believe it is important to consider the filter in which our words are poured into.   Sometimes it will not matter how we speak or what words we choose, they will inevitably be misheard, and we cannot own that interpretation either.  All we can do is take the responsibility of our words and the meaning in which we know they were spoken.  To try and understand how your words will be heard, can be one of the most difficult and stressful moments in any relationship, whether professional or personal.    This has been a source of my anxiety and fear for several years.  As my journey has revealed, my lack of ability to communicate my words properly led to an increase in internalization of feelings and negative emotions that caused a lack of self confidence and self respect.

So I suppose this post is two-fold  – I think trying to understand the filter in which you are pouring your words into is important to ‘brewing’ the perfect conversation or reducing the degree of misinterpretation that can be present, and also realizing that we can’t own the reaction that someone has to our words.  We can prepare for the perfect cup of conversation but inevitably there can be grounds in our cup and a bitter taste in our mouths simply because our words may not be heard in the way in which they were intended.

Conversation is important – Truth is Important – Coffee is equally as Important

if you ever need to have coffee and conversation, let me know, text 7058682616

until next time, be well and be caffeinated my friends

Freedom in Failure

I wanted to write a post on failure, and just how important of a gift it is…but the irony is that I feel like I have, in fact, failed as it has taken me an incredibly long time to write it.  This topic is a bit of a debate within certain populations and people groups.  This idea that a participation ribbon is what our kids need to feel validated, accomplished and become involved, in my opinion,  is a mistake.  Sure, more kids are spending more time then ever on devices instead of the filed or court, playing an active sport, but I also think the same can be said for adults.  I don’t remember the last time I got a participation ribbon for going to the gym or having a good day at the office (do Starbucks stars count as ribbons…I get a reward for drinking a ridiculous amount of caffeine!)?!?  It seems to me that this is where the strong sense of entitlement comes from.  If there is no chance of failure in school or sports, how can an appreciation be birthed for the value of hard work, dedication and loyalty??

I think my next post will cover the dangers of seeking validation from social media, because that in itself deserves its own attention.

I’m going to take a slightly different approach to failure than most, to not enter into the debate above.  I think we have been inundated with the concept that failure is a chance to learn from past mistakes and to appreciate when we succeed… I’ve lived this for the past decade or more.  And although I have certainly learned a ton from my failures, and have an extra appreciate for when things go well because of that learning I did when I failed, I truly don’t think that’s all we can pull from the importance of failure.  I think for me, the difficulty has been getting stuck in my failure.  Allowing my failures to define me; feeling as though all I am is a product of my faults and failed attempts and brokeness.

In my years of experience as an entrepreneur, I have had the opportunity to learn from several failures and broken dreams.  It has always been hard to learn from past failures, as many of those failures came from habitual and personality weaknesses or lack of education and resources.  I wanted to find another way that might allow for some grace to be given to you in the midst of your failures.  After all, we are human, we make mistakes, we fail, we fall and it is certainly important to get up, dust off and start again, because once we get what we are after, it tastes that much sweeter.  However, this can be long, difficult and painful to process and can leave a bitter taste in your mouth…and this has been my experience until I recently thought to change perspective.

Failure as a gift of Freedom

What if we view failure as a gift?  a gift of freedom…I’m a bit of a believer that our past is not meant to hold us hostage, but to shape and guide our future, and if I only see failure as a chance to learn, that failure remains a focal point and can also be used to hold me hostage and sabotage my ability to move forward and guide my path ahead.  I get stuck, I lose my self esteem and it becomes a negative emotion that will control me and ultimately curse all motivation.  But what if I saw my failure as a gift of freedom?  What if I allowed myself the chance to let go of that failure and take the gift of freedom from the past.  It happened, it’s done, I can move on and I’m free from the bondage it has on me?!?  I obviously understand that there are consequences of failures that we must certainly face and we are not absolved of those and we can’t reject the responsibility of these consequences, whether financial, relational, etc…  I suppose I’m simply suggesting a small change in perspective towards failure.  That although we have our consequences, we are free to move ahead without the weight of the emotional and mental rampage that takes place when we dwell on the “what if”, and instead focus on the “what is next“.

I want to go one step further though and allow us to also see that failure is a chance to experience the freedom we can have in forgiveness.  In my personal journey, I am having a hard time with this one.  Forgiveness for self is not easy, it seems to me that forgiveness for others is easier and comes more naturally (maybe this is just me).  However, when failure is a product of my own hands, especially as an entrepreneur, husband and father, there is a huge responsibility on my shoulders.  The weight of my children’s future and my families happiness can hinge on one decision or choice.  As I have struggled through some past choices and decisions that have tipped the scale in the wrong direction, causing many painful years, I have come to a place where I wrestle daily with blame, self hatred, shame, embarrassment, doubt and a multitude of other negative, self destructive feelings.  So as I write this, I feel like I am writing a letter to myself, and hopefully others suffering with the pressure of failure.  It is not easy and you are not alone, but maybe we can try to see what our failures can teach us, leave them in the past, forgiving yourself for those past mistakes, experiencing the consequences as a part of the journey that will ultimately lead to a freedom that can come from failure and forgiveness.

Here is my moment of honesty… I am not there yet.  I still have not been able to forgive myself for mistakes I have made.  Maybe this will take me a lifetime to do and I hope I can get there sooner then later.  I guess when I figure out how to do this, I will write about it!!  My wish is that you can take away that: there is hope that we can all experience freedom from our failures.


text 7058682616 – I would love to chat with anyone who needs it.  We all have something we are dealing with, and maybe you need someone to chat with.  I don’t have all the answers, but we are all walking through our own journey.  Don’t go through it alone.

Until next time, be well…This is life from the Ground Up!

Emotional Self-Sabotage

So I think my Counselor hates me….or is at least incredibly frustrated with my very apparent lack of ability to do anything related to self-care.  As I revealed in my previous posts, I am a people-pleaser.  On the Enneagram Test, I am a hard 2 with a 6 and 3 rolled in… I’m the Helper, with a side order of Loyalist and Achiever. (The Enneagram is a great personality test that really nails it…visit www.enneagramtest.net for a quick, accurate test).  Unfortunately all of these personality traits have led to some pretty destructive and problematic tendencies for me.


My ability to be vulnerable and concerned for myself was lost many years ago, along with my self esteem and confidence.  Recently forced to face my own demons and ‘discover’ myself has been an eye opening and difficult process.  I always knew that my personality was one of someone who cared more for the needs of others than myself.  But I never truly understood the gravity of this until this past year.  During my counseling sessions, I have been told repeatedly that I need to practice “Self-Care”.  My earliest attempts at this included donating blood, clothing, volunteering time, buying coffee for others…these things bring me a sense of joy and accomplishment but certainly are not classed as self care.  It seems rather silly and somewhat pathetic, but this is incredibly difficult for me.  During my latest session, the topic of emotional self care came to light as the possible reason for my inability to truly know what it means to take care of myself.  We both decided that we had some homework to do…to figure out the why and how.

To me it seems counter-intuitive that my ability to take care of others and my keen sense of pain that others might be experiencing has sabotaged my ability to care for self.  During some quiet contemplation, cold walks, evening coffee writing sessions and during my time at the gym, some pieces have begun to fall in place.

Early in my relationship with my wife, I always felt the need to be the stronger emotional partner.  We were very different in our personalities (opposites attract I guess).  There were many times where I felt the need to carry her burden and pain; whether physical or emotional.  Our early attempts at starting a family were very difficult.  In fact, our first two children were in-vitro, as we were told, after multiple miscarriages, that we were unable to have kids naturally.  As a man, I never truly understood the gravity and weight that this has on a woman, not only physically but the emotional sense of loss that was experienced.  Sure we have five beautiful children together, but that journey was long and difficult.  I think it was frustrating for my wife to have a spouse who showed little emotion and understanding.  Little did she know that I was also absolutely broken inside, but to me, my pain didn’t hold the same weight as hers, so for this reason, I could not be weak, I could not show emotion, I internalized my emotional pain as I was the strong one, the provider, the comforter.  I found this same internal struggle and torment when my own grandparents and aunt passed away; when my wife lost her ability to speak due to a small brain bleed after a fall; when her uncle passed away after a tragic accident; When one of my best friends passed away at the young age of twenty-four from a viral infection…  I would not cry for me, my pain was for family; for friends; for their struggle and suffering.  I wondered if my apparent lack of emotion was seen and judged by others…this still haunts me when I think back. It was an emotional cycle that always led to a sense of disappointment and gilt in myself.

I don’t know if this is a general “guy” thing or just a personality trait or the way I was raised.  I am not saying this is only a negative characteristic to have…I think it’s pretty clear that helping others and loving your neighbor is certainly what we are meant to do, however, I think we can take it to the extreme, and this is where my fault begins.

Vulnerability is not Weakness

To show emotion, to be vulnerable and open, genuine and authentic is to be human.  To be weak is to show strength in your ability to be secure in your own pain and struggles.  If we do not learn how to take care of our selves emotionally, mentally and physically, how can we expect to be able to fully take care of others?  I thought I would be able to do this forever, but when life becomes too difficult (and it will), not having the strength left to care for you will lead to difficult places…cue anxiety, depression, insomnia etc…

My hope for this post is to help reveal that although your personality may be a certain type; acknowledging and accepting your characteristics, doesn’t have to make you a prisoner to patterns that can be destructive to your relationships, family, work, and your own sense of self.  We all have the ability to augment our approach to situations and to understand that we are capable of more than we think.

I am still leaning and have a long way to go….but am always available if needed, so text 7058682616

Thanks for continuing to read.  Your support and encouragement is huge.

Josh

Hands and Heart

One of the ways to my heart is through my hands.  There is nothing more fulfilling and surprisingly calming for me then when my children reach out to hold my hand.  There is something about feeling the love, warmth and innocence of a child you love with everything you are, grasping your hand so tight.  It makes you want to stop time and never let go.  Much like a spouse or partner’s touch, although a different kind of love, that can settle the most difficult of internal storms and struggles… for me anyway.

So we have established that I am a bit of an emotional individual… it’s been said that I may have one ovary, which would explain my sensitive and overly emotional personality…  I know there are more gentlemen out there like me, Closet Emotionalists is what I will call us.

I had a moment last night with my eight year old mini-me Evan.  He is my little clone (for those that haven’t seen him), not only in looks, but in personality.  He’s a charming, funny, inquisitive, sensitive and rather dashing young man (remember he looks like his dad)!   We were finishing his homework reading and he slipped his hand in mine and whispered “love you dad” in my ear…cue the water works.

That single moment brought me back to the most memorable moments of becoming a dad.  For fathers (and mothers) out there, you can relate to the first time you look at the tiny hands that belong to the incredibly life changing, fragile, beautiful being that is now your responsibility and love for the rest of your days, and the joy that fills your soul is un-explainable.

As I starred at Evan’s hand, I still felt this enamored delight, curiosity and amazement at the creation and intricacy of the movement, shape and its complexity… also being in the health care field and knowing the internal structure and connection of the hand certainly makes my mind get a little more involved.

I often think about my great grandfather and my grandfather’s hands.  The one thing I remember so vividly is how big those hands were, yet they were the most gentle hands I have ever felt.  They were weathered and stained from years of hard work,  callused from a lifetime of providing, yet were tender and loving when, as a child, I would slip my small hand into theirs and get lost in the enormity of their love.

Hands can tell stories…

I begin to wonder about my hands; as someone who works each day using my hands to heal, comfort and provide relief of pain and stress to clients, what will people see in my hands??  My hands are beginning to hurt, starting to show the wear of almost fourteen years of daily use.  Not only at work, but at home, with my kids, friends and family.

When I am old(er) and my kids are grown, and my grandkids put their hand in mine, will they be able to tell a story of love, kindness, healing and hope?? I wonder if the choices we make now will effect the way they see me?  My recent struggles have stained the way I look at my own hands and how I view myself.  Will my children feel just how much they are loved and how I wish I could freeze time to when they were eight years old again, holding my hand tight, telling me I am loved… Will they feel just how much they are loved, even when I am at my lowest and life is hard??

Hands can tell so many stories of the life we’ve lived and the hardships we’ve endured.

What will your hands say about you??

 



cell : 7058682616 … I am always here if you need an ear!  We all have our struggles, joys, good times and bad.  You are not alone!

 

 

In the Waiting…

It’s quite difficult to follow a post like my last one (Sticks & Stones…), but I was awake all night last night trying to calm my soul a little.  I received a much deeper response to it then I truly anticipated.  Hearing that so many others have suffered or are suffering through their own struggles was heavy.  Thank you all for the messages, texts, comments and online love.  It was incredibly encouraging to me.  So thank you!!

But where do we go from here?  This was my anxious thought that I was wrestling with all night.  I’m not the most patient person and as you’ve come to discover about me, I’m also very emotional, a people pleaser, the fixer and I tend to shy away from any (and all) conflict.

This makes waiting difficult and adds it’s own level of stress

I listened to a podcast (unfortunately I can’t remember which one… I think it was Fun Therapy with Mike Foster), where one of his guests was talking about life in the waiting.  Whatever it is we are waiting for…

Relationships, Career, School, Finances….Life

I might get a little spiritual here, because that’s my upbringing, but I’ll do my best to be sensitive to those that might not have the same faith background as I do, but there is certainly some points to draw from.

As a christian, with a faith that I find brings a sense of hope and peace in life’s difficult situations, I try to rely on the strength of that hope to get through each day.  But in my recent struggles, that has been hard.  To continue the theme of being real, I have doubted, I have been angry, I’ve blamed God for all the messes, wondering why a loving God would let me go through all of this…and I still don’t know, and I still doubt, and I still get mad and angry, and yet I still have this tiny faith that helps in the waiting.  When life is so hard, attitude becomes such a key to how we will move forward.

The resounding theme, is the power of words.  Not just the words we speak to others, but the words we speak of ourselves.  In the waiting, I know the importance of my words to myself.  My self confidence is non-existent and the feelings of inadequacy still reside heavy on my heart, and if I allow the words I speak to feed that monster, the waiting becomes a nightmare.

The attitude we choose, the voice we speak, the faith we have in the future and the narrative we believe will make out waiting bearable or unbelievably difficult.

Have faith for better days my friends, Life is messy, and when you are in the waiting, remember you are not alone. Be resilient and know I’ll wait with you and help be a voice….


If you are interested in the Fun Therapy Podcast, I totally recommend it…but if you are like me, you might want to listen alone, as you’ll probably find yourself sobbing uncontrollably because it hits home…hard!!  https://relevantmagazine.com/series/fun-therapy/

don’t forget to text if you need to 7058682616

 

Sticks and Stones…

Full disclaimer here… I might get a little deep in this post, not for sympathy or attention, but to help, because we are not alone!

In recent months I’ve been spending a large amount of time with a counselor, and at first I was very ashamed to admit it, but several conversations over the past week have made me realize that it’s nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed of.  We all go through things; we all struggle.

There isn’t much I claim to be good at, but one trait I’ve developed or has been ingrained in me is a keen sense of observation.  I haven’t really noticed this until this year.  As a Massage Therapist, being in a health care profession where I am alone in a treatment room with clients who trust me and who I’ve worked with for years brings them a comfort where they feel free to share and open up and be real.  Now, as a Massage Therapist I am also unable to offer personal advice outside of my scope of practice.  However, when you’ve worked with someone for 10-14 years of your practice, you develop a relationship with them…and they can tell when things aren’t right with you!! I’ve got some of the best clients and coworkers in the business!  So my profession involves more than my hands; we observe, we listen, we hear, we hurt (physically and emotionally) and we internalize plenty.

In my personal journey over the last couple of years I began to struggle with serious anxiety, depression, panic attacks, addiction, loneliness, and at my lowest stopped my car at the side of a bridge, walked to the edge and at the moment thinking the fall would feel better than the life I currently had.  Luckily for me, I have five beautiful reasons to keep going, and the thought of disappointing them by not being around to watch them grow, thankfully weighed just a little more.  But I still struggled with the tension of feeling useless, worthless, insignificant and inadequate to them and that they would be better off without me anyway.  This cycle went on for longer than I would like to admit, until I was forced to seek help.  My personal situation had not (and has not) changed, but I needed to finally take steps towards taking care of myself to be better for my kids.   This however, is near impossible for a personality like mine, where doing things for me is the last thing I’ve ever done… I’ve always lived my life for others, to please others, to fix others, to care for others, to avoid conflict and to resolve issues.  My keen sense of observation has allowed me to see individual sides to the stories I’m a part of or a bystander to and try to offer an understanding to the parties involved on what the other may or may not be feeling or thinking… But all that doesn’t help me.  I recently was honored with an award as Best Massage Therapist in Peterborough, voted by the public, but I wasn’t happy about it, I was pushed to even acknowledge it!!  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not playing the martyr, this is actually not a very healthy lifestyle to live, and it caught up to me in the worst way possible.  And it is still a daily struggle, one that has my counselor extremely frustrated…it’s almost like trying to teach a soft little pug named Lloyd to be a strong confident lion (some of you will enjoy that reference).

One of the most vivid realizations I have come to lately is finding out where this deep sense of inadequacy and insignificance has come from.  Words I can still hear, situations I faced as a kid growing up have shown up in a 35 year old father of 5, and its embarrassing, and it never occurred to me that these would ever play a role in my human nature.  I can still hear the words “You aren’t good enough”, “You aren’t as fast or strong as the other guy”, “better luck next year”, “loose some weight and try again”,… as a high school athlete and musician, hearing these words from coaches and teammates was devastating and disappointing at the time, but also motivating and forced me to try better next time, to please more, to always be better…but it was never enough.  Even moving from sports to music, I faced the same rejection from other musicians, as I was never quite good enough to be the rockstar I dreamed of being.

Fast Forward to a couple of years ago…some 30+ years later…standing at the edge of a bridge telling myself “I’m not good enough, I’ll never be good enough”, driving myself into further depression knowing I can’t do or be enough.  The personal battles I was fighting brought me the same depressing sense of inadequacy that was hard to understand.

This is the difficult part of my story.  Parts I’ve only shared with a handful of close, trustworthy friends…. until now

The title of this post is “Sticks and Stones”, and as we all know the saying “Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but Words will never hurt me”…and its something I try to encourage my own kids to not let words of others affect you, but I would be lying if I said they don’t.  Words hurt, Words cut deep.  They certainly were not intended as such when a coach or teammate uttered those words to me, so I do not place any blame on them whatsoever.  I’m learning just how important my words are to others, to my kids, to my clients, athletes I work with and how important it is to try and decipher the meaning of someones words to me.  There are some personalities that can brush off those comments, use them as motivation and power through with no future implication…but there is a certain number of us (I know I’m not alone), who internalize the negative narrative and believe it as truth for our lives.  I’ve lived this way for almost 30 years…I’m still working on how to let go and be me…and be okay with it.  I have a long way to go.  A work in progress, and likely a lifelong work!

So if anything I’ve written resonates with you, if you are struggling with these feelings, in believing the negative and feeling completely inadequate at work, home and/or in relationships, please know you are not alone.  I am here, there are some great resources and counseling available, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of…we all struggle.

Can I encourage you?? let’s change the saying to “Sticks and Stones may break my Bones, Words will hurt me, but Words can also heal me”.  Have faith in hope, Trust in your Journey.  We are in this life together.

** Here’s what I want to do – my cell is 705-868-2616, if you ever need someone to talk to day or night,  or meet up for coffee… I am only a text away (I can’t always answer the phone, so text is easier).  Don’t struggle for longer than you have to. **