It comes as no surprise that I like my coffee. If you’ve followed any of my social media accounts – @joshmartinrmt on Instagram – you will see that I post a picture from my seat at Starbucks every time I sit to write…It’s pretty much my second office and luckily for me, it’s literally a stone’s throw from my clinic (strategic? maybe).
I’ve always wanted to write some sort of coffee related metaphor that would make the average person see life on a whole new level and could transform even the most anti-caffeine, coffee is the devil individual into a full blown addict…but this probably isn’t it…I think it’s a good one, but I’m sure there is something better tucked in the seemingly desolate and barren wasteland that is my cerebral cortex. There is a book in there somewhere!
For me, the ultimate preparation for that perfect cup of hot black bean water would be the French Press. It is somewhat of a delicate and detailed process to get the perfect cup of coffee from a press (don’t get me started on the new Clover Press at Starbucks!!). The grind has to be course enough to not allow grinds to seep through the filter mesh causing the last few sips to be wasted as it becomes a chewy bolus of unforgiving, dense residue. Yet the grind also has to be fine enough to allow enough water through to not create so much pressure that the sweet nectar of the gods will erupt from the plunger when you begin the press process, thereby scalding the fragile epidermis of your trembling, anxious, anticipating hands. Let’s not forget about the water temperature. The water must not be boiling, so either it is brought to a boil and allowed to sit before it is poured over the grind that you have now perfected, or you must stop the heating process moments before a boil takes place (about 205°). There are many analogies I can draw simply from the preparation of the coffee, but that might wait for another day. For now the focus is on the water and the filtration process.
If you will indulge my words, while you indulge on a beautifully crafted cup of coffee (or tea if that’s your thing), then hopefully this will make some sense to you.
Our words are like water, they flow through our minds and are delivered to someone’s ear with intent, meaning and motive. Words can be meant to heal, to love or are said with anger to hurt and criticize. There is a time for anger, for criticism, for love and for healing, however, when our words leave our lips, they are now out of our control. This is the part of the story that I want to emphasize. As our words, whether intended for good or bad, are interpreted by those we speak to, their meaning can be altered, twisted, convoluted and the original intent or motive can be lost or misinterpreted.
I will be honest, I have not always been the most honest and truthful with my words, and this has caused some difficulty in my life’s journey, and I have also been the one who has misinterpreted and misunderstood. I believe that truth is of utmost importance and our words need to convey this, but I also truly believe it is important to consider the filter in which our words are poured into. Sometimes it will not matter how we speak or what words we choose, they will inevitably be misheard, and we cannot own that interpretation either. All we can do is take the responsibility of our words and the meaning in which we know they were spoken. To try and understand how your words will be heard, can be one of the most difficult and stressful moments in any relationship, whether professional or personal. This has been a source of my anxiety and fear for several years. As my journey has revealed, my lack of ability to communicate my words properly led to an increase in internalization of feelings and negative emotions that caused a lack of self confidence and self respect.
So I suppose this post is two-fold – I think trying to understand the filter in which you are pouring your words into is important to ‘brewing’ the perfect conversation or reducing the degree of misinterpretation that can be present, and also realizing that we can’t own the reaction that someone has to our words. We can prepare for the perfect cup of conversation but inevitably there can be grounds in our cup and a bitter taste in our mouths simply because our words may not be heard in the way in which they were intended.
Conversation is important – Truth is Important – Coffee is equally as Important
if you ever need to have coffee and conversation, let me know, text 7058682616
until next time, be well and be caffeinated my friends