In the Waiting…

It’s quite difficult to follow a post like my last one (Sticks & Stones…), but I was awake all night last night trying to calm my soul a little.  I received a much deeper response to it then I truly anticipated.  Hearing that so many others have suffered or are suffering through their own struggles was heavy.  Thank you all for the messages, texts, comments and online love.  It was incredibly encouraging to me.  So thank you!!

But where do we go from here?  This was my anxious thought that I was wrestling with all night.  I’m not the most patient person and as you’ve come to discover about me, I’m also very emotional, a people pleaser, the fixer and I tend to shy away from any (and all) conflict.

This makes waiting difficult and adds it’s own level of stress

I listened to a podcast (unfortunately I can’t remember which one… I think it was Fun Therapy with Mike Foster), where one of his guests was talking about life in the waiting.  Whatever it is we are waiting for…

Relationships, Career, School, Finances….Life

I might get a little spiritual here, because that’s my upbringing, but I’ll do my best to be sensitive to those that might not have the same faith background as I do, but there is certainly some points to draw from.

As a christian, with a faith that I find brings a sense of hope and peace in life’s difficult situations, I try to rely on the strength of that hope to get through each day.  But in my recent struggles, that has been hard.  To continue the theme of being real, I have doubted, I have been angry, I’ve blamed God for all the messes, wondering why a loving God would let me go through all of this…and I still don’t know, and I still doubt, and I still get mad and angry, and yet I still have this tiny faith that helps in the waiting.  When life is so hard, attitude becomes such a key to how we will move forward.

The resounding theme, is the power of words.  Not just the words we speak to others, but the words we speak of ourselves.  In the waiting, I know the importance of my words to myself.  My self confidence is non-existent and the feelings of inadequacy still reside heavy on my heart, and if I allow the words I speak to feed that monster, the waiting becomes a nightmare.

The attitude we choose, the voice we speak, the faith we have in the future and the narrative we believe will make out waiting bearable or unbelievably difficult.

Have faith for better days my friends, Life is messy, and when you are in the waiting, remember you are not alone. Be resilient and know I’ll wait with you and help be a voice….


If you are interested in the Fun Therapy Podcast, I totally recommend it…but if you are like me, you might want to listen alone, as you’ll probably find yourself sobbing uncontrollably because it hits home…hard!!  https://relevantmagazine.com/series/fun-therapy/

don’t forget to text if you need to 7058682616

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s